"Just before I came out here tonight, I licked all of the Oscars"
Oscar host Steve Martin comes clean
"To all of our men and women overseas, God speed and let's get you home soon. To the Iraqi people I say, let's have peace soon and let you live without war"
Academy president Frank Pierson
"We are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you, Mr. Bush. Shame on you"
Oscar-winner Michael Moore takes aim
"Teamsters are now helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo"
Steve Martin, immediately after Moore's outburst
"To all the people in Swansea, South Wales - I love you"
Best supporting actress winner Catherine Zeta-Jones, presumably to avoid confusion with Swansea, South Dakota. Whose people she hates with a passion
"Jack Nicholson shared a hot tub with Kathy Bates. But then who hasn't?"
Steve Martin's by now traditional attack on the audience's sexual mores
"I dedicate this award to those who are raising their voices in favour of peace, human rights, democracy and international legality"
Pedro Almodovar, who won for best original screenplay
"Later we're going to show you a montage of people you think are dead, but aren't"
Steve Martin, after the traditional Hollywood obituary montage, and before a line-up of previous winners
"Why do you come to the Academy Awards when the world is in turmoil? Because art is important"
Best actress winner Nicole Kidman explains her presence
