In this series, writers and editors highlight some of the best comments on Comment is free. Each week either an editor or the author of a recent piece will pick a comment that they think contributes to the debate. Hopefully, it will give staff and readers an opportunity to see how thought-provoking such contributions can be and allow great posts the chance to be seen by a wider audience.
This week, Annmarie Chiarini chose a comment by Florence5 on her article on revenge porn:
"I have heard of this type of thing before, and it's awful, as is the victim-blaming and the pitiful response from the police. She should take civil action against him, go to a lawyer, not the police, sue the bastard, make his life a misery until he stops. As a mother of a 15-year-old daughter (who is very tech-savvy), I have already had this discussion with her and her friends that you never ever take compromising pictures of yourself, you don't let anyone else, because this follows you the rest of your life. Don't let anything out there you wouldn't want your boss to see (or your constituents, customers, etc.).
I admire Annmarie's work to get this outlawed, but there is also a proactive lesson here for us, our children etc. Talk to them about this kind of thing and make sure they understand the possible consequences."
Annmarie explains why she chose this comment:
"This is one of the more difficult aspect of this issue – what to tell our children. I have lost sleep over what I will tell my son and daughter, and I can think of only one solid parallel to illustrate my decision to tell them not to share intimate images. When the birth control pill was introduced, it afforded people a new sexual freedom. Sexuality changed … for the better. But then stories of HIV and Aids started making headlines. There was a risk. Unprotected sex could result in a death sentence. Sexuality changed – people became less trusting and learned about dental dams. Now this new risk has entered the discussion that will again change sexuality and challenge trust in intimate relationships. So just as I will tell my children to use condoms, I will advise them not to share intimate images."
Florence5 tells us her reasons for commenting on the piece, and gives us a bit more information:
Have you commented on Cif before?
Yes.
For how long have you commented on Cif?
For about the last five years.
How would you describe the community of commenters you find here?
Generally very knowledgeable, have a lot of different perspectives to add to the conversation.
Why did you feel motivated to comment on this piece?
Reading through the comments there were many who alluded to what I did, that we have a responsibility not to let images of ourselves out there that we don't want out there because there can be consequences like these. And that I am forewarning my daughter and her friends that this stuff lasts forever. It also irked me a bit to see other commenters jumping all over people who said similar and called them victim-blaming, which I don't think was the case.
In regards to your comment highlighted here, do you feel you changed the conversation or moved the debate on?
Not really sure that I did, I hope that people do talk to their teens about this and other dangers that didn't exist on "our" day!
Where are you in the world?
Portland, OR, US
• Let us know your thoughts on this exchange in the comments below, and tell us whether it has given you a new insight into the issue
