Strictly Come Dancing 2020: week five results - as it happened

Caroline and Johannes take to the floor to ‘Don’t Stop’ by Fleetwood Mac. Loving the fireman’s helmet, I feel like Johannes has got quite attached to it.

And that’s it for another week! Thank you for joining in with our trip to Lackpool – I’ll be back next Saturday at 7.15pm for another spin round the dancefloor, and in the meantime you can find me on Twitter @heidistephens so please come and say hello. Have a fab week! Hx

Caroline and Johannes say lovely things about each other, I LONG for the day when somebody says ‘to be honest it’s been HELL and I can’t wait to never see you again.’

Crikey, bit dusty in here.

Judging time! All the judges save Maisie and Gorka, which means CAROLINE AND JOHANNES are leaving Strictly.

Anyone else worried that Caroline is going to lick both of Johannes’ arms in a last-ditch bid to save herself? If anything this is worse from a footwork and timing perspective then it was last night, but at least Caroline is going out on a fun dance.

So this dance-off is a bit of a done deal, isn’t it? First up it’s Maisie and Gorka, and this is just as good as it was last night, with better landings on the lifts. Great job.

Maisie was second on the leaderboard last night, they really didn’t do very well in the public vote. I feel for her but don’t think she should take it personally, last night people were desperately trying to save their faves from a scoring shambles, and I think she probably got forgotten, especially being in the slot of death.

So who is joining Caroline and Johannes in the dance off? Clara and Aljaz are safe (WELL DONE EVERYONE), along with HRVY and JNNT, and JJ and Amy!

Which means Maisie and Gorka are in the dance-off! OUCH.

‘I wasn’t interested in the technique,’ says Anton. A nation gasps in shock.

Loving Claudia’s dress/white stiletto/ankle bracelet combo this week, recreating my look of choice for Ladies’ Night at Cadillacs in Bath in 1989.

Time for a musical interlude, courtesy of R&B legend Billy Ocean. He’s singing a montage of his greatest hits, which I am very much enjoying because I am a child of the 80s. Although ‘Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car’ has a stranger danger vibe that hasn’t aged well. Unlike Billy, who is 70 years old and still smashing it.

‘I still don’t understand what’s happened,’ says Jamie. You’re not alone, mate.

So who is safely through to next week? Ranvir and Giovanni are safe, along with Jamie and Karen and Bill and Oti.

First couple in the dance off: CAROLINE AND JOHANNES!

I mean, that’s not a huge surprise, and I can’t say I’m hugely looking forward to watching that Cha Cha again.

‘I’m surprised to see you here,’ says Shirley, despite Caroline being second from bottom on the leaderboard.

Last night on Strictly: this year’s Lackpool Special! Some great dances, some wildly inconsistent marking (remember when tens were saved for perfection? I miss those days) and one of our more boozy bingos. Clara had a bad Samba (we’ve all been there) and got roasted by the judges, ending up at the bottom of the leaderboard. Meanwhile Jamie did a fun but by no means technically brilliant Couples’ Choice and got two tens, because 2020.

This week six out of eight couples scored nines and tens, which is complete madness in Week 5. Apart from Clara, only one person got a single score lower than an 8. I love this show dearly but could we have proper judging again?

In other news, can still feel Ranvir and Giovanni’s Argentine Tango in my feminine sensing zones.

TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in black flares and a sparkly vest, Claudia in a crimplene shift. I rather like both. Shirley’s also in enormous black balloon sleeves – whose funeral is it? Are we in mourning for sane scoring?

And we’re off! Tonight’s Lackpool pro dance is a romantic twirly affair to Snow Patrol’s ‘Chasing Cars’. Lovely to see some proper chiffon ballgowns, they’ve been a bit light this year. Also the Strictly garden bench! How we’ve missed you.

Well this is GAWJUS.

Fake Countryfile calendar looks nice this year. Bet they glued that bee to that sunflower.

The world needs more people who are this excited about hedgerows.

Tonight’s Countryfile Casual Weatherperson is the lovely Ben Rich, who is resplendent in red plaid flannel, jeans and a very tidy beard. If he’d just roll up those sleeves and undo another button it would be 10/10.

Cows, horses and now sheep on Countryfile! It’s all we ask from Sunday night rural telly.

And that’s it for another week of dancing! I’ll be back at 7.25pm tomorrow for the Results Show, when we’ll show another couple the door. Who will it be?

Thank you for all your comments, which I’m off to read now, and sorry about the bingo. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday!

So that’s it for the dancing, and the voting is OPEN! Cowboy hats all round, please keep drinking.

Time for recap - Lackpool definitely delivered despite the mad scoring, my favourites being Bill and Oti and Ranvir and Giovanni. I’ve also thrown in a vote for Clara because if she’s in the dance-off she could be out, and then I’ll have to cancel Christmas.

Tonight’s leaderboard - Jamie and Karen at the top, Clara and Aljaz at the bottom. That scoreboard is an absolute travesty, can we all please save Clara and Bill from the dance-off? How did Clara go from top to bottom in one week?

Scores: 8,9,10 - a total of 27 for Ranvir and Giovanni. DRINK. We need the fluids, that got me right in my feminine sensing zones.

Anton was captured entirely, it had wonderful intensity and was an absolute beauty. Craig wanted a straight leg in the lunge but the detail was fantastic. Shirley got rather hot under the collar - Ranvir was very feminine but extremely powerful. It was hot and sensational and Ranvir was fabulous.

All I ask for from Ranvir and Giovanni is a weekly dose of filth, and that’s exactly what this is. Ranvir looks like an absolute goddess, and has entirely captured the mood and intensity of this dance. Lovely timing and incredible confidence from Ranvir, absolutely LOVED that. That ENDING. I need a lie down.

And finally it’s RANVIR AND GIOVANNI! This week they’re dancing the first Argentine Tango of the season, to ‘When Doves Cry’ by Prince. The Tango bar for this song is incredibly high – Kimberley and Pasha, Jay and Aliona – and that’s before we get anywhere near Rachel and Vincent’s legendary Argentine. It’s a HUGE ask, but I can’t help thinking that Giovanni wouldn’t have gone there unless he was absolutely confident that Ranvir could deliver.

Scores: 8,8,8 - a total of 24 for Caroline and Johannes.

Shirley though it was fun and Caroline has the most beautiful flow, it was very entertaining. Anton though it was joyous, and this is the way to do a Cha Cha. Craig loved it - it was cheeky and cheesy. Are the judges on crack, or is it me?

Caroline is looking feathery and fabulous in scarlet, and am very much here for Fireman Johannes. This is a side we haven’t seen of Caroline previously, and I’m loving the ‘drunk at a wedding vibe’.

That said, the footwork is a a bit shambolic and she’s entirely relying on characterisation and her ability to sell it. That was…something.

Only two left! Next up it’s CAROLINE AND JOHANNES! This week they’re dancing the Cha Cha Cha to ‘Rescue Me’ by Fontella Bass. Caroline has been asked by the judges to be less prim and proper for weeks now, and this dance really is a chance for her to let her hair down and give it some welly. Hopefully she’s downed a vodka red bull and a sambuca chaser and is ready to shake it, because at this point in the competition it might be the only thing that rescues this partnership.

Scores: 8,9,9 - a total of 26 for HRVY and Janette. They both looked shocked. We all are, babes.

Craig noticed the mistakes bit it had great drama. Shirley was impressed by how HRVY worked through the mistakes and his frame has the most fantastic potential even it wasn’t quite there today. Anton loved the choreography and HRVY pulled it off beautifully.

Anton is much less hectic and more constructive tonight. Actually quite enjoying him as a judge.

Oh yes, this is right up my street, although HRVY’s tango face has a whiff of Norman Wisdom about it. Good drive in hold, nice footwork and good attack, although a couple of mistakes. Nice work, HRVY.

Next up it’s HRVY and JNTT! This week they’re dancing the Tango to ‘Golden’, which is the latest single from Harry Styles because HRVY is nothing if not current. They did a cracking Salsa last week and right now HRVY is shaping up to be the one to beat – it wouldn’t surprise me if he sailed to the Grand Final without every troubling the dance off. And if that isn’t a guaranteed curse for this Tango, I don’t know what is.

Scores: 9,10,10 - drink everything.

Anton loved the style and the timing - Jamie nailed it. Craig thought it was amazing - Jamie styled it out and they were absolutely in sync. Shirley loved how agile and energetic Jamie was and he held his own, please can we not with the hip-hop hand signals.

Karen’s six pack deserves at least a nine, surely?

This opens with some hip thrusting that nobody asked for and we definitely didn’t need. There’s no denying that Jamie is incredibly good value, and he’s giving this Couples’ Choice both barrels. Bits of it are a bit more Murky Murk than Marky Mark*, but it’s still oddly enjoyable. Love the up-tempo section at the end, can’t stop smiling.

*incredibly niche pop reference

It’s time JAMIE AND KAREN! This week they’re dancing their Couple’s Choice - a Street/Commercial routine to ‘Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)’ by C&C Music Factory. This stone cold banger is exactly 30 years old this week, which makes me feel very old indeed. I never had many moves, but I busted out every one of them to this on west country dancefloors in 1990.

Scores: 5,6,7 - a total of 18 for Clara and Aljaz. EEK.

Shirley loved the joy and energy, but Clara’s feet missed the mark this week and it was Clara’s weakest performance so far. Anton agrees - Clara had great energy and she lights up the room, but there were some mistakes. Craig thought it was heavy and too into the floor and the timing was off in places. The bounce was great but this dance didn’t suit Clara. BRUTAL.

This has a chef theme, and Clara’s outfit can best be described as ‘Olaf from Frozen has been eaten by a swan.’ It should be horrible, but honestly I swear this woman would look incredible in plumbers’ overalls.

I love a Samba, and once this one gets away from faffing around with wooden spoons and into hold it’s got some nice elements. The tempo of this song is weird and makes it feel slow and heavy in places, but Clara is doing her best with the basics. Not as good as last week but a decent effort for a difficult routine.

Next up it’s CLARA AND ALJAZ! This week they’re dancing the Samba to ‘That’s The Way (I Like It)’ by KC and The Sunshine Band. Last week’s Charleston was an absolute triumph, so keen to see if she can follow it up with a showstopping Samba.

Scores: 7,9,9 - a total of 25 for JJ and Amy. I mean, was that really better than Bill and Oti, Anton? Was it?

Craig thought JJ’s facial expressions really worked, but it was a bit jagged all the way through and it needs to be smoothed out. Shirley disagrees; she was impressed with JJ’s frame and didn’t see any CLONK CLONK CLONK. Anton loved the immaculate arm line and it was brilliant.

This is all rather charming, albeit JJ’s timing is all over the shop. It’s better in hold and he’s definitely one of this year’s improvers, but some of the footwork (and miming) is a bit shaky. They’re lovely to watch though, and JJ is ridiculously handsome.

It’s time for JJ AND AMY! This week they’re dancing the Quickstep to ‘For Once In My Life’ by Stevie Wonder. Last week JJ got a free pass for shamelessly wheeling out Prince Harry for some moral support, and dancing a Jive in a specially designed Marine uniform during Remembrance Week. But unless he’s got Prince Harry’s nan lined up or a seriously polished Quickstep up his sleeve, JJ could definitely be in the danger zone this weekend.

Scores: 9,9,9 - a total of 27 for Maisie and Gorka.

Anton thought it was absolutely brilliant - this week Maisie was fluid and loose, although one of the lifts landed a bit heavily. Craig thought Maisie had amazing isolation and it was incredible. Shirley loved how she used her ‘feminine sensing zones’, and I have no idea what that means.

This is a much more party version for Maisie and it’s miles better than last week. Some nice Salsa basics and a great deal of spinning that makes the most of that car wash outfit. Still looks a bit heavy-footed in places but some nice hip action and plenty of fabulous lifts. Enjoyed that.

Next up it’s MAISIE AND GORKA! This week they’re dancing the Salsa to ‘Better When I’m Dancing’ by Meghan Trainor. Last week’s inflexible Barbie Cha Cha put them in the bottom two, so I’m surprised to see Maisie and Gorka skipping straight to another Latin without a ‘let’s pretend that never happened’ ballroom interlude. Also what happened to Waltzes and Foxtrots this year? Have they been cancelled?

Everyone’s missing Blackpool. Drink.

Scores: 8,9,8 - a total of 25 for Bill and Oti.

Shirley thanked Bill for opening the show with such finesse. Anton was in heaven - the dance was right up his street and he loved their partnering skills. He calls Oti Otty, to rhyme with hotty, which absolutely works for me. Craig wanted more extension in the Fred Astaire section but Bill’s hand shaping was extraordinary and Bill is a revelation.

Honestly, I could watch these two dance all day long. Bill has a lovely ballroom frame and fabulous musicality, with some great cane work out of hold too. This is stylish and glamorous and sheer joy - who knew that this would be such a fabulous partnership? LOVED that.

First up tonight it’s BILL AND OTI! This week they’re dancing the American Smooth to ‘Under My Skin’ by Frank Sinatra. We’ve seen how good Bill is at the character dances, very keen to see if he can do romantic and elegant and debonair. I have high hopes.

Tonight’s VTs include Blackpool reminiscences. I almost included that in the bingo, and I think all our livers will be very happy that I didn’t.

Out come the stars! Maisie is wearing a great deal of rainbow fringing, and Jamie has embraced the 90s hip hop vibe. He looks like that episode of Friends where Joey puts on all his clothes. Am transfixed by Karen’s washboard abs, and Ranvir looks INCREDIBLE.

Out come the judges! Shirley’s scarlet dress is glorious. I’d forgotten about Anton.

TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in black spandex with weird thigh vents, Claudia in a leopard-print onesie. Okaaaay.

Bonus pro dance because it’s a pretend feem week. Already spotted some candyfloss and various other seaside tat, DRINK. Also bonus Bucks Fizz for a Eurovision twist.

Craig’s on a donkey. Drink everything.

And we’re off! Normally we’d be heading to Blackpool, and everyone’s sad they’re not going (drink). I’ve just realised that tonight’s bingo is absolutely savage.

I’ve turned the sound back on. The guys are actually pretty good, which is distracting my attention from Rochelle’s voluminous frock. I know she’s with child, I’m just jealous that a dress like that would make me look like a human yurt.

Am watching The Hit List with the sound off. It’s a good deal less hectic and stressful, although haven’t yet got to the bottom of why Rochelle is wearing an Angel Gabriel nativity outfit.

Tonight’s Strictly Come Bingo – LACKPOOL SPECIAL EDITION. A swing of something disappointing for any occurrence of the following:

• Extraneous seaside tat – kiss-me-quick hats, candyfloss, sticks of rock
• Anyone mentioning how gutted they are not to be in Blackpool this year
• Montages of people who live in Blackpool being sad
• A Lackpool ten
• CGI seagulls

Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Strictly Come Dancing liveblog! We’ve made to Week 5, which is the midway point for this year’s dance extravaganza. Ordinarily we’d been off to Blackpool tonight, but the Coronacoaster at the end of the pier has put paid to that. So instead they’re bringing Blackpool to Elstree for a Zone 6 suburban seaside special. Thank you for all your excellent suggestions for what we could call this arrangement – I think it has to be ‘Lackpool’.

Kick off tonight is at 7.15pm, so please join me then. Lacklustre dressing up is encouraged – maybe a feather boa that your dog has had a chew on, or some glittery shoes with a flappy sole. Bring some sub-par snacks and a bottle of wine you wouldn’t drink under any other circumstances and I’ll see you then!